Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
— Mark Twain
Tag Archives: Funny quotes
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
—Jack Handey
My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana
My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana. — Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls
I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later
I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later. — Mitch Hedberg
As human beings, we are trained to set goals for ourselves and work tirelessly towards achieving them. From the moment we are born, we are encouraged to dream big, and we are taught to believe that anything is possible if we put our minds to it. We are told that success is achievable if we just keep trying and never give up.
Continue reading
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
— Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. — Anonymous
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. —Robert Benchley
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. — Will Ferrell
In this day and age, love has become more accessible through different modes of communication. With the prevalence of social media and dating apps, it’s easier to connect with someone and build a relationship without ever meeting them face to face. However, the quote “before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are” advocates for a more unconventional approach to evaluating a potential partner.
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once. — Aldo Cammarota
Where I can look ugly and enjoy it
Where I can look ugly and enjoy it