Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.